rode this week out

After options expiration day and seeing down futures this morning, I'm surprised that the market basically closed break-even today. Actually, a little better than that, as all the indices found some support and came back a little in the afternoon, though the nasdaq was on lower volume.

Some of my stocks made new highs today: ICE on slightly higher volume closed at a new high, PAY on low volume, and SHLD on avg volume. SYX was an honorable mention at 0.13 off a new high, but still up almost 3%.

I actually got up and watched the market open this morning. I don't usually do this because nothing good ever comes of it. It's too easy to get caught up in it and break your rules, and today was no exception. But I wanted to put a couple of orders in before open. I started watching and my account and the market began slipping. I was down over 1% and started to panic and looked to see which of my stocks I should liquidate to get off margin and raise cash. I looked at a couple, but they weren't technically breaking down past my sell rules. I realized (and I've never formalized this thought before) that if I let my sell rules take me out, by the time I'm 100% cash, my acct is going to be 7-8% off its highs. So, my account balance is actually just like a stock price. I've been focusing on it a lot trying to look for an indication that I'm improving. I've been getting really overjoyed when it climbed higher and bummed when it fell back down towards where I started this rally. But seeing it as just an aggregate of my stocks' actions allowed me to see that it will have fluctuations as each of my stocks do and I found that a little comforting. I've been trying to teach myself not to panic when one of my stocks has a pullback, but I've been thinking of the portfolio itself as a different animal.

I know, this seems like a very simplistic realization--obviously a portfolio reacts just as its holdings do, but it was my frame of mind that needed adjustment. This allowed me to calm down a little and realize that there was no reason to panic and, besides, my rule is not to do anything during the day, especially not first thing in the morning when I'm sleep deprived.

Oh, and my account ended up closing slightly positive on the day.